Beware of Pride

Pride is a very interesting and misunderstood concept.  We all want to be "proud" or our children, and we want our parents to be "proud" of us and our accomplishments.  But we have been told from a young age not to be "prideful".  So what is pride, exactly? Or humility?  Is it the opposite of pride? President Ezra Taft Benson defines pride in his May, 1989 Ensign article entitled Beware of Pride :

"The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us.

Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our will against God’s. When we direct our pride toward God, it is in the spirit of “my will and not thine be done.” As Paul said, they “seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ’s.” (Philip. 2:21.) Our will in competition to God’s will allows desires, appetites, and passions to go unbridled." 

This chapter could not have come at the more perfect time.  I consider my husband to be one of those enlightened, "emotionally intelligent" spouses that Gottman's Principle 4 (Let your partner influence you) describes. He is a wonderful father, supportive and humble spouse EXCEPT when he gets around friends or family! I don't know what it is about being around other people that brings out the "prideful" side of my usually sweet and thoughtful hubby! I don't know if he doesn't want to appear weak or powerless in front of them. His demeanor goes from tender to tough once he gets in front of the guys. He appears to be at enmity with me!

We've had many "discussions" on this phenomenon in the past. This particular evening, however, he asked me what I was reading.  I showed him some of the quotes from Goddard's book regarding humility and pride. He read the paragraph quoting President Benson's sermon which states, "Pride is a sin that can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves... How everything affects me is the center of all that matters- self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification, and self-seeking".  That opened up the opportunity to discuss an incident that happened at our family's house the day before.  It was like a light bulb went on!  He said he never even realized he was putting me down by making himself look "manly". 

I am so grateful for this chance to study on humility and pride because it gave my husband and me the reason to have a stress-reducing conversation (as described in Principle 4) about a situation that could be improved in our marriage.  It turned out to be a great blessing for us.