Three Bad Wolves: Better to Eat you with, My Dear!

Elder Bruce Hafen's talk certainly hit a chord with me.  I began reading it as though I were looking through the lens of a camera.  The subjects were "someone else's marriage". I started off the article reading about Tom and Tracy, and bride's declaration to her mother that, "Now, all my troubles are over".  It actually made me chuckle out loud.  After being married for over 30 years, I can see the situation from a more realistic, or experienced, camera angle.  I kind of felt sorry for them, knowing they have many trials ahead of them, as all couples do.  

A few more paragraphs into the article, I turned the lens on myself.  I recognized the wolves that Elder Hafen warned of in my own marriage. He writes, "Every marriage is tested repeatedly by three kinds of wolves. The first wolf is natural adversity".  He explains that this type of wolf bears it's head through no fault of anyone's, as in the death of a child, illness, or loss of employment.  My husband and I have experienced a major job loss twice through downsizing, and also a bout of severe depression and cancer.  However, because of our temple covenants and commitment, these adversities actually strengthened our marriage. 

Next, Elder Hafen warns that "Second, the wolf of their own imperfections will test them".  This is where I needed to do some real examination of my own actions. I didn't particularly like this "selfie".  Even though my husband is a hard worker, wonderful father, great husband and worthy priesthood holder, I find myself being too critical about things that are totally insignificant. While reading, it seemed as though the little critical "digs" I often make flashed through my head.  I don't feel that I am cruel or overly harsh, but I make unwanted comments that are unnecessary.  It reminded me of our family rule for our children, which was to not say things if they weren't "kind, true, or necessary".  

The third wolf Elder Hafen refers to is "the excessive individualism that has spawned today’s contractual attitudes."  I call that "entitlement mentality".  It is a disease that causes the breakdown of relationships. I see it especially in teaching school. Children learn from their parents that they do not have to be accountable for their actions, and that "they exist, therefore they deserve." I truly appreciated  Elder Hafen's warnings to avoid these three wolves, so they not be allowed to devour a covenant marriage. 

For myself, I plan to use this camera lens analogy to develop my own improvements in the area of imperfections.  I don't want this wolf to tear apart my family relationships, especially with my husband, who has been my support and companion and treats me with love, kindness and respect.