I have (had) a very good friend named Brian who is gay and whom I have severed a relationship with.  Not because he is gay, but because of the way he began to treat me as he became more involved as a political activist advocating same sex marriage.  I have known him his entire life, and we have always enjoyed a very close relationship.  He often referred to me as his second mom. I supported him in all of his school activities, celebrated milestones, and spent a lot of time with him.  As he became a young adult, and announced his attraction to the same sex, our relationship did not change because we felt like "family", and loved each other.  He grew up in the church, so knows well my values and beliefs, especially those pertaining to eternal marriage.  It was never a problem until he began to become a proponent of same sex marriage. When I read the article "The Overhauling of Straight America" by Marshall Kirk, I was amazed that it was the exact same tactics Brian used on me! I never made comments related to Brian's sexual orientation, however, he suddenly became antagonist toward me. He would demand (loudly- tactic #1 from the article) that I "explain" how it is any of my business whether two men marry.  He tried to tell me that he was bullied as a child (victim-tactic #2) and that he felt bullied as an adult because he was gay.  He would message me every time an athlete or an actor disclosed they were gay (make gays look good-tactic #4).  The end of our relationship came when he began to call me a hypocrite and bigot, (make the victimizer look bad- tactic # 5) and finally indicated that I was not, or had ever been, a Christian if  I could not accept and condone same sex marriage.  I was sad to end that relationship, but I could not allow him to abuse me in that way any longer.  

 

Contrast that experience, however, with that of our backyard neighbors.  They are a lesbian couple who have been together for 20 years. My husband and I love them and value their friendship! Our discussions on marriage with them have been completely civil and tolerant, as our church leaders have directed in the article "The Divine Institution of Marriage".  They graciously asked me what my thoughts were on same sex marriage when they got married once the ruling made it legal in our state. They know I am Mormon and did not want to offend me or make me uncomfortable.  It was a very wonderful discussion, as I explained my beliefs regarding traditional marriage, but assured them that we loved them and wished them the best and that we would remain friends. They came with us to the Indianapolis Temple open house last month and were so impressed with the message of family and of the Savior.  Our understanding and friendship has improved because we approached the discussion with love and tolerance.